don't know what happen. maybe i tired or something, but ,,, yeaah it's feel so sick, feel so bilious (like ramona said in ramona and beezus when she can't sleep in one night). in this week i can i've fever for twice, and plus now, so its mean for third. and when i sick, in night when i sleep i always dreaming my mom. yaaaaah, ,maybe it happen because i really miss her. and we are had separated for 2years and 2 month. i know, i can't see her again. so i always hoping i can dreaming her in all my sleep. but i don't know i think, my dream last night is so memorial. when i dreaming my mom, in my dream she always act like she never dead. but last night, she act like in my real life. i really miss her. i'm crying and go to her cemetery. and all people see me and say " leave her, she know her mom was dead, she just wanna crazy" but i don't care what people say. i just running. but i can't touch the my mom's cemetery. and when i see in my backside, i see my mom. she wearing her uniform, and wear a yellow bandana. i'm so shock i'm really confuse but i'm happy. really really happy. i think i never happy like that. i see her smile. she is so beautiful. with her short hair. really really beautiful. i wanna cry. i wanna hug she and hope its moment never done. i don't what can i say to her, but may mouth just say " mom, what will u cooking for dinner?" but my eyes always see her and no flicker. and she go to our home. and when i came back to all my friend, yap i wanna say to them my beautiful mom was come back. but i meet my mom again. i wanna kiss her cheek. but she so cold. and she just smile and no saying. i kiss her cheek again, but she cool. i can't hold out my tears. and then i wake up from my dream. i'm crying. and i remember the latest i kiss her is when she dead, when she really cold as human corpse. mom, really miss u. i really need u. eh, i forgot something, i once have dream my mom when i sick too. in my dream she is so happy and spirit want make a big celebrating on my 20st birthday. and now, i remember my 20st birthday is the islamic celebration. aidil fitri. ya allah, what mean of this?